Posts Tagged ‘Mind Block’


Believe that you have it, and you have it.
Latin Proverb

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Of all the Bad habits I believe this one is the biggest hindrance to success, “never do today what you can put off for tomorrow”. Better yet, “never put off ’til tomorrow what you can avoid altogether!”
I don’t know who coined these phrases, but they must have been a depressive. The symptoms that we face, such as fatigue and hopelessness, make it so easy to say to ourselves, “I’ll just put this off until tomorrow when I feel better”.

Before we know it, that deadline is creeping up on us and we’re starting to panic. What’s the best way to deal with panic? Hide your head in the sand and hope it goes away! Not really, but procrastination is an easy habit to fall into and as the panic mounts, so does the depression. The more depressed we get, the more we avoid reality.

Why We Procrastinate:
Why do we fall into the procrastination trap time after time? Because procrastination becomes a way, no matter how maladaptive, of coping with the emotions and physical symptoms that accompanies depression. It may bring some temporary relief, but we eventually wake up the following day and find that no brownies have dropped in overnight and done our work for us.

Which style of procrastination fits you?
• Organizing thoughts and actions and keeping on track with plans is difficult. (People with ADD/ADHD may fall into this category.)
• Tasks seem overwhelming so it’s futile to even try.
• Hostile feelings towards someone cause you to want to punish them by putting things off.
• Routine and schedule causes you to feel rebellious.
• You fear disapproval.

These procrastination styles can overlap in one of four themes:
1. Self-Doubt – These people feel there are rigid standards about how thing ought to be done and they fear they will fail. They second-guess themselves and delay taking action.

2. Discomfort Dodging – This person avoids activities that will cause them distress, discomfort or anxiety. Rather ironically, the act of dodging the activity doesn’t make it go away so tensions mount because of this avoidance.

3. Guilt-Driven – The person feels guilt over tasks undone, but rather than correct the original lack of action continues to procrastinate in order to not face up to the guilt feelings.

4. Habitual – The person has procrastinated so many times, it becomes an ingrained response. The person no longer thinks about why they do it, they feel it’s just a part of them. It becomes an automatic response to say, “This is too hard”, “I’m too tired”, or to laugh it off as a character flaw.
Once you recognize your style of procrastination, you can take steps to stop it.

Time Management Tips to Beat Procrastination
One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to get organized. Make lists, take a class in organization, or purchase an organizer. Do whatever works for you. One word of advice: follow the KISS principle (Keep it Simple, Stupid). If your organization system is too complicated, it will become just another task to avoid. Here’s my own system. You are welcome to use it if it works for you.

Make a list of what needs to get done. This can be listed in no particular order and will give you a handle on just what you need to accomplish.
Prioritize these. My way of doing this is by deadlines. I arrange them in order of when they are due. You may also choose to rank them by how important it is to get them done. For example, paying your bills on time may be more important to you than cleaning out your closets. Do that first.

Now it’s time to assess the list, consider these 6 simple points:
1) Do you need to do all the work yourself?
2) Do you need to provide something to someone in order that they can do their part of the job?
3) Do you need to have a proper work plan before you start?
4) Try and calm any immediate fears about the standard of the work, and concentrate on what needs to be done, and how it is to be done.
5) identify what bits of the job seem to be frightening, and ask yourself why.
6) Ask yourself if you would benefit by talking about these aspects of the job with someone else – someone you think would find that job straightforward.

Get yourself a calendar with room to write notes in. I personally use a bound notebook and write in dates as I go. I make pages with dates for long-term planning and also keep a separate list that I transfer my short-term goals to, let’s not forget Microsoft outlook.
Take what’s at the top of your priority list and determine how long it will take to accomplish it. If it’s a quick task, put that down to be done the current day. If it will take a longer time, divide it into smaller tasks to be spread out over several days.

Write this in your calendar with specific dates for accomplishing each. Include your deadline for completion of this task on your calendar as well.
Keep filling your calendar until you have a time set aside to do each item while still meeting your deadlines. Be careful to not overbook yourself and allow plenty of time for delays. This will allow you to feel confident that you can accomplish all you need to in the time you have. Now you can relax and work on one item at a time without feeling you have to do it all at once.

Another time management technique is to break down tasks into time chunks.
In the office or at home, you might find that filing papers is one of those put off tasks that you leave and leave and leave.
Allocate an hour for filing. Find as many of the bank statements as possible and file those in date order. Don’t worry that you won’t file all of them. You can allocate another hour for another day to finish it off. You will be gradually dealing with this task and it will be less of a problem.
Or, allocate an hour for working out how much money you are paying out each month and each year.

Another day, allocate an hour for working out what expenditure is essential and what is not.
Just divide each job into a time chunk. This is called time boxing.
These are methods of planning time and tasks to make them appear, and to actually be, more manageable. These work for people who just need to get themselves more organized. These work for very busy people who are very successful, as well as for the rest of us who still just always have things we don’t want to do but know we have to do them.

The Fourth

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Habits are routines of behaviour that are repeated regularly, they tend to occur subconsciously, and some Habitual behaviour go unnoticed in persons exhibiting them, because it is often unnecessary to engage in self-analysis when undertaking in routine tasks.

Habits, good or bad, make you who you are.
The key is controlling them. If you know how to change your habits, then even a small effort can create big changes. In particular bad habits don’t necessarily make you feel good, but you can’t help doing them. Many of our bad habits come down to curiosity or a deep-rooted grooming instinct. Be warned that giving up one bad habit could mean that you just replace it with another.

1. Phrases like y’know, sorta, like, knowarramean at the end of every sentence can be heard in television interviews and in the office. They’re used by supposedly intelligent people, but all they do is fill the air with meaninglessness. Try and avoid overusing phrases such as right and innit.

2. Being Contradictory
A friend of mine argues with everything, this is most definitely a habit, as it seems he just does it without even thinking about it, I often agree when I get bored of arguing.

3. Procrastination
Procrastination is something that a lot of people do: putting off things until the last minute, or just not doing them at all. As a consequence you can spend a lot of time rushing to meet deadlines and/or making excuses. This creates a lot of stress that you could have avoided by just doing things as soon as they come across your desk. It’s a very self-destructive thing that can cause you to really lose control of your life, and can sometimes even affect those around you.

4. Smoking
Sobering thoughts sometimes do the trick – here’s the wise words of one Researcher:
I tried to give up smoking for 20 years before I hit a method that worked for me.
I had a heart attack. Luckily I recognised the symptoms and called an ambulance, thus when I had the second heart attack, which would have been fatal without medical assistance, I was already in hospital. Shame I didn’t listen to my wife and children who’d been nagging me for 15 years.

5. Pulling Out Hair
I’m a guy and I know a thing or two about this little habit, this compulsive condition is called trichotillomania. Unfortunately, it seems that it might be in some way related to OCD and depression.
I have no idea why I did it or what finally changed that caused me to stop, though I remember the first time I pulled my hair out, the fascination I had with the twinge of pain/pleasure that came every time I plucked a hair. I’d also feel for the odd-textured hairs and go after them first. I’d pull them singly and always inspect the root.

A researcher now keeps tweezers handy and plucks hair out of her legs instead. Even though she says that she starts to feel nervous and edgy when she can’t find her tweezers, at least it is an area that she would remove hair from anyway so it’s less destructive than hair on her head. It is however, embarrassing, so she can only do it when there is no one around, which means she does it a lot less.

6. Swearing
It wasn’t so long ago that I was in Sixth form in North London and swearing was just part of my everyday language. In fact, everyone swore so much that I didn’t realise how many expletives I used. Anyway, I left home and eventually joined a church, I ended up swearing while having a conversation with a friend IN CHURCH, luckily enough for me everybody heard me. I was obviously horrified and suddenly became acutely aware of how much bad language I was using so I used this awareness to cure myself; every time I swore I wrote it down, carrying a notebook and pen wherever I went. I had to ask friends and family for help but I soon began to use less and less bad language and am pleased to say I am now completely cured.

7. Nose Picking
Perhaps the worst bad habit, picking your nose is horrid, yet every day it happens and just a few centimetres below your eyes. Lost in thought, bored with nothing to do many people find there’s nothing like having a good nose pick.

Time to Make a Choice!
It’s no longer an involuntary act because each time you start to do whatever the bad habit is now you have to actively choose.

Substituting Better Behaviours
The whole reason you formed your habits in the first place is that they filled a need. As you break the old patterns you still need a way to fulfil these needs. You will be not only making an active choice to not do the old action you will also be making a choice to perform a better, alternative action in its place. Instead of letting dirty dishes pile up you may decide to use paper plates when you are eating alone. What the new habit is that you substitute isn’t as important as whether you feel good about the choices you have made. After all, the reason you consider it a bad habit is because it leaves you feeling bad about yourself.

It’s Up to You
By now you should realize that the only way to continue with a bad habit for very long is to sink back into denial of why you are doing it in the first place.

One easy way is to announce it to the world – tell your friends, especially those who see you the most, what habit you’re trying to kick and give them free rein to give you grief if they catch you in the act.

The Fourth

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Parental Upbringing
Studies show that children whose parents are involved show greater social and emotional development (Allen & Daly, 2002), including more resilience to stress, greater life satisfaction, greater self-direction and self-control, greater social adjustment, greater mental health, more supportive relationships, greater social competence, more positive peer relations, more tolerance, more successful marriages, and less delinquent behaviours (Desforges & Abouchaar, 2003).

Powerful stuff, if you ask me and we should never take for granted the impact our parental upbringing has on us. It is important that parents and carers are aware of the significant contribution they can make to their children’s learning by providing a stimulating environment. I have an aunt who recently started a new business, because of this business she found herself spending less time with her family, in the end her son dropped two grades down!

Families, parents and guardians in particular, play a significant role in the occupational aspirations and career goal development of children. Without parental approval or support, a student is often reluctant to pursue, let alone explore diverse career possibilities even now I find it difficult to shake of some off the oddities “train up your child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it”.

My Point: If you are a parent, young, old or even new to the world of parenting, spending time to develop your child’s mental should be your paramount objective. If you’re young and are thinking of having children, don’t rush into it, better to wait and get it right than to rush and make damaging mistakes while bringing up your children.

Still on the topic of parental influence on our mind, to really become aware of how much impact our upbringing has on you, what you need to do is begin to draw parallels between your parents and yourself. From this moment on start paying attention to the attitudes, beliefs and behaviour of your parents, especially the things that you don’t like and those things that “annoy” you the most about them. Write them down and look to see if they are evident in yourself, you might not see them at first but in most cases we are a reflection of our upbringing.

The Fourth

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